I Hope

I’ve never been that good at finding the right words to say.
Sometimes I stumble, muttering something that halfway sounds appropriate, but consists muchly of “ums,” “ers” and stutters.
And sometimes I find the right words a few minutes too late–when I get into the car after the funeral, or the minute the person I’m attempting-to-be-speaking to walks away.
It takes me a while sometimes to come up with coherent comments.
My brother and his wife lost their second baby this week. Jade had miscarried last year and, when she found out she was pregnant again, we were all excited–yet reserved our excitement, knowing what could happen. This time the baby held on five more weeks.
Long enough for us to begin to think it was safe to be happy. Long enough for Jim and Jade to be more conifident that all would be OK.
And then, while Vicki & I were out to lunch on Wednesday, we got the news. We were devastated for them. Our hearts ached for their loss. What could we do to help them? What could we say that would ease the pain of what they were going through?
I still can’t answer those questions.
I haven’t spoken to Jim yet. Mum says he’s taking it very hard. I can only imagine how he feels because I’ve never known what it’s like to so desperately want a child only to have your hopes and dreams dashed–not once, but twice.
I need to call him. I hope I can find the words to say when he picks up the phone. I hope the conversation won’t drift towards gadgets, work, weather, footy and anything but what is on our hearts.
I hope he can see past my attempts to find the right words and know that I feel his pain and know that God feels it too. I hope and pray that he can see that God is for him and Jade, not against them, and that somehow, through all of this loss, grief and pain, good will come.
I hope. I hope he can too.

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