Facebook Me and Real Me

facebookThis morning in our Sunday gathering, Mike was taking us through the gospel terminology used in the New Testament book of Galatians. While explaining the term ‘righteousness,’ he made mention of the way we see ourselves against the way we want people to see ourselves, using as an example Facebook.

It is obvious that the stuff we put on Facebook is filtered reality–it’s what we want others to see in us. We try to build an identity so when people look at our page, they see the person who is better, more confident, more positive than we are in real life.

We want to appear more ‘righteous’ than we really are.

I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s exactly what I do. I know how I am and, in the words of someone whose name escapes me at the moment John Powell (see, I don’t have such a perfect memory either!), “I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I tell you who I really am, you may not like me.”

I’d like to think I’m getting past that (insert ‘You know when you’re getting old’ joke here).

Truth is, I’m not . . . not as much as I would like to. I care about what you think about me. I try to present myself as clever, deep, spiritual (but not with my head in the clouds), active, mostly positive, involved, compassionate, controlled, massively ripped (OK, maybe that’s too obvious an exaggeration) . . . and I am all those things to some degree (except for my abs, alas!).

But I’m also short-sighted, stubborn, proud, intolerant, and sometimes downright unkind.

I am not as ‘balanced’ as I appear on my Facebook page (Those who know me well, say ‘Amen!’ but stay away from the ‘mental’ references, please).

I lean more to the left than I present myself to be. (Onya, Barack!) I’m not ashamed of my progressive (or what some may call ‘liberal’) leanings, but I know some of my friends are not at the same point on their journey. For the sake of those whom I know (hope?) will one day see things differently, I temper my comments, I filter my reactions, I watch which pages I ‘Like’ because I know they can see everything I do on my timeline.

I love my family and I’m really proud of who they are and what they’ve accomplished, but I never post a status of how sometimes they aren’t as awesome as I’d like them to be (or I’m not as awesome to them as I like myself to be–more like it).

I comment when I feel it is safe to do so. I weigh my responses to others’ posts about the hot button issues in the world today.

Is that a lie? After all, I’m not saying that I’m fully on one side or the other . . . the intention of my social media presence is not to be an activist . . . . my family might see it . . . you may misunderstand my intentions . . . I may get cornered after Church by people whom I really care about and love who want to show me how much they love me in return . . . I could get in trouble at work (um, wait! That’s right, they’re Anglican and are used to accepting all sorts of people–balanced and otherwise).

Or should I be more honest and vulnerable and show my true colours, my heart, the way I see the world, people, and God?

St Paul is known to have coined the phrase, “I have become all things to all men . . .” Surely this is what got him in trouble on more than one occasion. Is it worth it?

Well, I guess that you now know who I am, I’d better do the best thing by all of us . . .

. . . I’ll just have to de-friend you.

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