The Lighter Side . . .

Here’s one that’s great for a laugh:


Life Lessons

This was read at our morning staff meeting today. I thought it would be worth sharing (Thanks Ian):

1. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the  statue.

2.Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat  them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4. Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth  it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to  others.

8.Never buy a car you can’t push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have  a leg to        stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

11. Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese.

13. When everything’s coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong  lane.

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you  live.

15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one  person.

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some  are pretty and  some are dull. Some have weird  namesand  all are different colours, but  they all have to live in the same box.

We Laugh, But . . .

Church signs have been used ever since the invention of moveable type to display all sorts of messages: humorous and serious, challenging and trivial.

Here’s one that’s not set in moveable letters, possibly because the church doesn’t think it will ever need to change it.

My particular favourites on the list of people who love the devil are “Loud Mouth Women” and “Government Recipients.”

Incorrect use of apostrophes aside, My mind boggles at the mentality behind such a sign. Rather than point to a God who hates, churches need–more now than ever before–to point to a God who loves . . . and who loves everyone in spite of the labels they wear or the hangups they have. Without a doubt, if our God can extend his mercy to St Paul, who called himself ‘the foremost of all sinners,’ then he surely can have pity on us “Sport’s Nut’s”! (Insert grinning face here. . . .)

Music That Helps Me Believe . . .

I stumbled across a link to Adam Ellis’ blog, Adventures in Following Jesus, today (on Jesus Needs New PR–great title!) and found this little gem: Music that helps me believe, and music that doesn’t. Music is such an integral part of our lives and can be a great influencer of our theology and well-being. I found his post a good starter for me to think about what I’m putting into my ears.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Speaking of Jesus Needs New PR, here’s an interesting collection of pictures I found, some of which are just pure corn, especially this church sign that links free thinkers with Satan.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Looking at funny Christian cartoons and pictures amuses me, probably because it makes me feel better–like ‘I’m not like them,’ or ‘I can’t believe they would do that.’ When it hits closer to home is when it becomes challenging. Do I appreciate it as much when it strikes a chord in my own life experience and (ahem!) convicts me?

I’ve found the Naked Pastor’s cartoons fall into this category a lot of the time, and then again some are just purely hilarious!

This one isn’t funny even though it, at first glance, appears to poke fun at the WWJD crowd. Unfortunately, a lot of damage has been done to those toting all sorts of WWJD merchandise, claiming to desire Jesus-like thinking. Its message is a challenge to the 21st Century church to truly be like Jesus and love unconditionally.

Social Media & the Church

This is possibly the best post I’ve read about the influence of social media and the influence of the Church in this tech-energised generation.

Here’s a snippet from The Oblivious Boycott- Ignore The Social:

“The hope, encouragement, training and life transformation we have to offer through the local church is as relevant now as it ever has been. That doesn’t need to change.  We just make it too hard for people to engage in the story. Worse? We’re not even in the environments where conversations are already happening. Last week, someone left this comment on my blog:

“‘Pull the computer out of the wall, and go out into your community. Shake some hands, learn some names, invest actual time in people and earn the right to be heard. That’s how you minister to your community, not by eavesdropping on what they’re saying on Twitter.’

“Maybe you don’t agree with this point of view, but I’ll bet you know someone who does and you don’t know how to convince them otherwise. We all hear the hub-bub about how the internet is making us stupid. Or, how people need to get a life and turn off the computer.

Ignoring the social is a fast pass to unhealthy and completely out of touch.

“These virtual communities and spontaneous new social structures are increasingly becoming some of the most important places to “earn the right to be heard.” When we listen, learn about and acknowledge people in their online spaces, we are developing relational collateral for offline space.

As we begin our voyage into relevance, here are some pointers.

“The internet isn’t any more of a cop-out to real life than a car is to walking. A healthy reality doesn’t embrace all or nothing. I like how Phil Cooke puts it in his book, Branding Faith; “Like most areas of life, the greatest dangers often come out of the strongest positives. And we don’t stop using good accounting principles because of the bookkeeping abuses of Enron.” A change in approach starts with a change in mindset. Our communication efforts will be exponentially more effective if we fine-tune our M.O.—online and off.”

Read more here.

This is part of a web presence called Shrink the Church, a blog well worth reading. Here are a few more interesting tidbits from this site:

5 Ways To Cultivate A Crippling And Irrational Fear Of Muslims (The comments are an interesting conversation in themselves.)

Can you spot Jesus amongst the 2010 FIFA World Cup players?

Spotting Jesus At The World Cup (see picture)

My Church Can Beat Up Your Church

8 Things The Super Mario Brothers Can Teach Us About Our Faith

Everything’s Amazing…You Don’t Want To Miss It! (Hyper-promoting, Yeah!!!)

Stuff White Christians Like

I’ve been reading Jonathan Acuff’s new book based on his website, Stuff Christians Like. It’s a mockumentary montage of the Christian Subculture in all its shades of the rainbow. Imagine my glee (Oooh, that’s not a word I use a lot!) when I came across this blog: Stuff White Christians Like! Here you’ll find a list of stuff we (as a whole, stereotypically, and evangelically) “like.” Have a look. It’ll make you laugh, maybe cry. Perhaps it could be enlightening too…

Here’s the latest in the list:

#80 Post-Worship Refreshments

As their pastor wraps up the third point of the sermon, and begins down the all-too-familiar application trail, there’s a lot on the white Christian’s mind: the roast in the oven,the getaway car andcleaning up the legions of candy wrappers that were unsheathed prior to thelong prayer. But while all of these things have the potential to distract white Christians, nothing gratifies as immediately as post-worship refreshments.

Upon exiting the sanctuary (or worship center) white Christians descend like vultures on the sugary smorgasbord of coffee, cookies, and lemonade.

Adults drink coffee regardless of temperature. Many white Christian churches continue to omit air conditioning, viewing it as a “worldly luxury” rather than the heaven-sent miracle that it actually is. On many summer Sundays, the church climate can rival that of the Sahara. This heat may be glimpse of what Hell must be like, but that doesn’t stop the consumption of scalding-hot coffee after the service. Even as beads of sweat form on the upper lip of said coffee-drinker, the white Christian is still able to critique the sermon during “fellowship time.”

White Christians are simple folk- they like their coffee hot, their cookies sweet, and their lemonade so tart that taste-buds swell on contact to triple their normal size. The typical white Christian lemonade recipe consists of 20% water, 40% sugar, and 50% tart. Astute readers will note that this percentage breakdown actually produces 110%- which, coincidentally, is exactly what the volunteers that have prepared the drink, give every Sunday. One sip of this lemony goodness will reflexively pucker the white Christian’s lips, preparing them for any necessary holy kisses during fellowship time.

Finally, post-worship refreshments are a great opportunity for the volunteer women’s group that is responsible for all baked goods within a 200 foot radius of the sanctuary to unload excess inventory. As a part of post-worship refreshment, white Christians can expect to see leftover bake sale brownies adjacent to Christmas paper napkins presented up to and including the month of March. Typically, by the end of the sermon, white Christians are jonesing for a sugar fix bad enough that they are willing to look beyond the seasonal decor faux pas.

*   *   *   *   *   *

OK, so I broke my one-blog-a-day rule, but this was worth it!